The art of being alone

The next time you see someone watching movie alone,  you might thought, "oh, that guy does not have any friends." Or you might see someone doing something else alone, you might also thought, "He must have felt lonely". I believe these are thoughts that some, or even majority of us would think.  However, being ALONE and feeling LONELY are totally two different things. It does not come as one. You can be with so many people, but you can feel lonely and empty inside too. Loneliness is not just define by the people you are with. Nor does it serve as a factor. It has been such a cultural norm to think that whenever someone is alone, he or she will feel that way. The definition of "Loneliness" is defined as sadness because one has no friends or company. But being alone does not always mean nobody wants to be with them. It is a choice as well.

It was quite some time ago, I don't exactly remember the situation but I remembered my friend had to be alone for some moments and she blurted out, "I just don't want to be seen alone." Perhaps it is a cultural norm, that being alone is seen as inferior. Some of us are actually fearful of being alone, for the fear of judgement. Here is a challenge. Try eating alone in a restaurant by yourself next time during a peak hour. Are you able to do it without any jittery? Or would you constantly be conscious of how other see you or fear of bumping into someone you know?If you do, yes that is because you fear of being alone. You fear how others would see you. You might even fear people judgement of you without having any friends.

Being alone is something that we should learn to embrace. I don't know if this is due to my both introvert extroverted personality, there are times I just love being alone. Being alone is also the time where I get to reflect and sort out my thinking a lot. You get to have a clear mind. I get to be in touch with my my own emotions. When you're with people, you are always catering to other people's emotions or perhaps shifting the attention away from yourself. It is more of everyone and how other people feel.  You will be so surrounded by people that you don't really get to know what exactly you are thinking. There are times whereby we can get so lost and get influenced by other people's emotions. I became even more observant as I am alone. That is why when I am alone, I get to really know what I truly want, without any influence. That is the time whereby I really start to know myself more. How I truly react when I am joyful and what makes me feel that way. You get to think a lot. It is also a journey to discovering yourself. I also have the freedom to do whatever I want. I no longer have to follow what the group wants and I have a choice to do what I truly want. It would be quite miserable if we have to keep on following the crowd if we have something on in mind that we want. All these will only happen when you truly start to love and embrace being alone. Being alone is an art.

There needs to be a balance. I remember once hanging with someone straight the full day for a consecutive number of days. It was too draining for me.  There was no self quality time for myself. Those that are Extroverted extremist will probably strongly disagree with me. But of course I love socializing too! I also loved outings, meetups, dinners! Those whom know me well do know that I always love having fun as well! I mean, who doesn't? There are times that I rather be alone than to be with people that are toxic in my life. I even have plans to travel the some countries alone in the future. People can say that I am crazy or even pass negative judgement at me. (and honestly IDC what they think) I believe it would be a total different experience. We are so used to be surrounded by people that we forget to spend time with ourselves.  To experience and try new things by yourself. To see the world by yourself. Great escape. Definitely there will be challenges throughout the way, you get to learn to be independent. You learn so much more.

Being alone has always been seen as a social stigma. Why don't we try to embrace it? Being alone is different from feeling lonely. Lonely is a strong emotion with sense of emptiness. Being alone is just a state. A situation whereby we are by ourselves. Only when you truly accept the situation of being alone, you will start to find joy.